I Will Never Understand Human Jokes!
by DarknessintheCorners
Summary: Basically, Will and Ironhide fall in love... : OH and Sarah aint in it... She's non-specifically mentioned... she's just known as 'I should settle down with a woman' implying sarah. SLASH! DO NOT LIKE. DO NOT READ! Chapter 1 now up!
1. Chapter 1

**I will never understand Human Jokes. **

**A.N; Okay… This is a fic written between me and my mate ICaughtMyself. It's a IronhidexWill. And was written over a course of two months, during various frees at college. God This was difficult to chapter! **

**I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE THIS PHIL! **

**Oh, and This is SLASH, as in MALEXMALE! If you don't like, then you see the little back arrow in the top-left corner, then click it.. don't read it. **

**D/C; Of course I own this… Just ask my Multi-coloured, fire breathing unicorn. He's standing right next to you! **

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Will was on the shooting range, at the NEST base on Diego Garcia. He looked down the barrel of the gun he was holding, and fired off a couple more shots. He pulled the trigger on his gun, then re-loading quickly, shooting the little Decepticon targets that were lined up one after the other. Ironhide, the Autobot weapon's specialist was standing behind him, observing his skill. Ironhide didn't always like the humans at the base, but he had always felt closer to Will than any of the others. The major felt something's presence behind him, he didn't let it phase him, but he could feel it, He reloaded his gun and span round quickly aiming at the black robot.

"It's just me, Will." Ironhide reassured him. "Lower the gun." Will relaxed slightly when he saw who it was. He lowered the gun and smiled.

"Sorry 'Hide, I thought it was someone else... like Epps. Didn't mean to scare you" Will laughed softly at the thought of the Big Bad Autobot being scared of something as useless as a human pistol.

"I wasn't scared." Ironhide glared. "Why would I be?" Will's smile turned into a fully fledged grin.

"Because... You're a pussycat. It's not secret 'Hide!"

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT?" Will's grin disappeared off of his face.

"Uh... 'Hide... I was joking... I just wanted to mess you about"

"I'll never understand the concept of human jokes." Ironhide grumbled. "I don't find them funny at all." Will laughed

"Well... You wouldn't... you're from a different planet and a different time zone to me." Will turned to back to the shooting range and started taking the faces off of the deceptibastards.

"How does it matter that I'm from a different planet?" Ironhide asked. "I can blend in here. No-one knows what I am."

"Except for the fact that you can transform into a big ass robot, and destroy everything!" Will continued to shoot all the various forms of Decepticon.

"I can disguise myself in more ways than just becoming a vehicle." Ironhide watched Will. "You missed one." He pointed to the target that was mocked up to look like Starscream.

Will looked back at it and shot it in the head. "What do you mean by that?? I thought all Transformers had to change into some electrical appliance?" Will disarmed the gun and placed it down to face Ironhide fully.

"Will, have you ever heard of a hologram?" Will looked confused for a second. Then nodded slightly

"Yeah, but aren't they the things they use in 'Star Wars' to transmit a message, and aren't they see through?"

"Not on Cybertron." Ironhide smiled. "Our hologram technology is far superior. We have the ability to project holograms like you just explained, but we can also solidify our holograms – when have you ever seen a car with no driver?"

"When you're driving me places... there's no driver... and I sit in the passenger seat" Will grinned triumphantly.

"I have blacked out windows. People cannot see inside the cab." Ironhide reminded Will. "But if I was on my own and say... I was stopped by the police. They may ask me to step out of the car, so I would project a solid hologram and trick them into think that I am a human being."

"Oh, I see your point... But... Why are we even having this conversation Ironhide? Surely it's not just to prove me wrong?" Will cocked his head to the side like a little puppy.

"Who said I was trying to prove you wrong?" Ironhide asked. "I am just explaining another feature of my race that you humans are oblivious to... like most things."

Will looked startled for a sec "Are you saying that I'm stupid?"

"No." Ironhide laughed. "I'm just saying that your race is oblivious to some things... I meant you no offense." Will waved his hand in an attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah, Yeah... Whatever"

"Why are humans so quick to take offense?"

"We're not. It's just I feel like... your trying to make me seem stupid. Anyway, I've never seen this 'Hologram'. Prove it... Now." Will crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't you believe me?"

"I don't know. I just want you to prove it" Will smiled

"Fine." Ironhide sighed. He transformed into his vehicle mode. A few seconds later, a man appeared in front of the topkick. "Do you believe me now?"

"Yes. But, Now I want you to come out of the vehicle, so I can see what you look like"

Ironhide stepped out of the topkick and walked over to Will. The hologram was a tiny bit taller than Will, with short, dark hair. Ironhide was dark jeans and a tight black T-shirt that showed off well defined muscles.

"Happy now?" Ironhide asked.

"Uhh... " Will's jaw had dropped. He reached out his hand and touch Ironhide's shoulder, just to see if he was solid. "Uhh... Y-Yeah... I believe you... "

"Good." Ironhide smiled. "Give me the gun. I bet I can shoot better than you." Will looked confused for a second. Then shook his head.

"I dunno, Ironhide... I've got years of practise." Will handed over the gun, deliberately brushing their fingers together.

"So have I... not necessarily on human weapons, but I think I'll be able to do it." Ironhide inspected the pistol, loading it and flicking the safety catch to off. "I just point and shoot at the target, don't I?"

Will facepalmed his forehead "Yes, Ironhide... they're Decepticons... just shoot like you would a real one"

"This puny weapon would not do any harm to a real Decepticon." Ironhide grumbled. "You need bigger and more powerful weapons, like my cannons." He aimed at the target and fired off a shot, completely missing the target. Will suppressed a giggle.

"are you sure your good at this? You missed it completely. And I know the Decepticons wouldn't get harmed with a regular pistol, but this is only target practise... They're pictures drawn on a piece of paper... A pistol would harm these Decepticons"

"I just need some practise." Ironhide snapped, glaring at the soldier. He turned back to the target and fired again, getting a head shot. "See?" Will gaped at the robot and then at the target...

"Yeah... I see...." He watched Ironhide take a few more shots, watching the muscles move and contract against themselves under the _impossibly_ tight shirt... 'I wonder what it would look like wet' Will slapped himself around the face, trying to rid himself of the images of a wet Ironhide.

"Will?" Ironhide asked, studying the human's facial expression. "Are you okay? You're not having spasms, are you? You just slapped yourself..." Will shook his head once more

"No, I'm just... Uhh... Uhm... I-I'm fine... Honest, Scouts honour" Will held up his two fingers on his right hand, hoping the robot, in this from, couldn't read his hormones... or whatever they do to find stuff out about you.

"Scouts honour? What's that?" Ironhide asked, stepping closer. "Your hormone levels are through the roof. Are you sure you're okay?" Will hung his head. The shirt really was tight.

"Uh...Scouts honour is an expression when you're telling the truth, and yes. I'm fine..." It took all of Will's inner strength to not jump on the hologram 'Fuck You Ironhide. Fuck You!' Will thought.

"Your speech indicates that you are nervous or uncomfortable with this situation." Ironhide observed. "Are you?" He stepped closer to Will again.

"Uhh... I-I'm positive... I'm n-not uncomfortable or Nervous..." Will stammered, backing away from the 'Bot. 'FUCK YOU IRONHIDE. FUCK YOU!' He shouted in his mind. HE hoped that Autobots couldn't read minds...

"You keep stammering." Ironhide said. "Perhaps you need feeding. Or we could go and see Ratchet. You might be coming down with something." Will shook his head. The last thing he needed was Ratchet saying that he wanted to fuck the brains outta Ironhide.

"Honest, I-I'm" He cleared his throat "I'm Fine."

"Well, I have a bet to make with you." Ironhide smiled, handing Will the pistol. "Let's see who can hit the most targets. If you win, I'll do what you want. If I win, you do what I want. Deal?"

Will looked at the pistol and took it. 'FUCK YOU IRONHIDE, SRSLY FUCK YOU.' "Deal..." He moved past Ironhide and went to the booth.

"If you lose, I'm going to give you a proper shooting lesson." Ironhide smirked. Will groaned quietly 'FOR FUCKS SAKE IRONHIDE. FUCK YOU.'

"Okay..." He squeaked... then shook his head trying to retain some manliness. Ironhide's smirk grew wider as he stepped back, allowing Will to think clearer. All that was going on in Will's mind was the words 'FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.' He hated what Ironhide did to him. Maybe he should find a nice woman. Settle down. And have a family... not imagining himself getting fucked by a ROBOT!. He cleared his throat and took a shot.

Ironhide watched Will as he fired the gun. "You missed." Will looked at the target and saw that he had missed the fake Barricade by like... a couple of centimetres. 'FUCK! FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID ROBOT... FUCK YOU!'

"Oh yeah... Oops... let me... let me try that again" He took another shot, which missed the centre by an inch. "Fuck."

"One more, then it's my turn." Ironhide laughed. "Try not to miss this one... I don't want to completely humiliate you... just a little bit." Will whimpered. He really had to make sure Ironhide lost... then he could get some peace and quiet away from the robot... just to help clear his head.

"S-Sure" He closed his eyes and took another shot. He knew shooting blind was a bad idea, but he didn't want to see what he got.

"Wow, you actually hit something." Ironhide walked forwards and took the pistol from Will's hands. "Now, you can open your eyes and watch the master work." He opened his eyes and saw that he got a head shot.

"okay..." His brain had decided that his eyes were not gunna watch Ironhide's shooting they were gunna watch the Robots muscles in his arms.

"One... two... three." Ironhide placed the pistol down. "I guess this means I win. Are you even paying attention?" he turned to face Will, studying his gormless expression.

"Huh... Oh yeah... Uh... Shit... You actually won... Damnit... Uh... What do you want me to do then?" Will snapped his eyes up to Ironhide's. 'FUCK YOU IRONHIDE. FUCK YOU.'

"Firstly, I'm going to teach you how to shoot properly." Ironhide stated. "Will, go and stand in the booth."

"Okay... " He moved and picked the pistol and aimed it.

"Now stay there." Ironhide said, walking up behind Will. "Don't fire a shot. Just stand still." Will obeyed to the Autobots command. He tried to stay as still as possible, not wanting to give himself and his 'hormones' away any more than he already had.

"Stay still." Ironhide said. he stood behind Will and mirrored Will's stance, laying his hand over Will's. "I want you to aim for a target. Pick one." Will chose, he briefly wished there was one with a picture of Ironhide, just so he could try and get very sexy mental images out of his brain... But he settled on one of Megatron.

"Kayy, I've chosen"

"Good. Focus on nothing but that target." Ironhide breathed in Will's ear. 'FUCK YOU IRONHIDE. FUCK YOU.'

"uh... finding that pretty difficult" he mumbled to himself. "Okay..." He said a bit louder.

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**A.N;,. Okay… first chapter…. I think it went alright…. **

**I know it kinda just cuts off, but this was chaptered after the fic was written, soo… in the next chapter, it's gunna have the last two sentences from the previous chapter, just so it makes sense. **

**Review?**

**xxxDarknessxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N. Okay… This is chapter 2… and you may think the end of each chapter doesn't make sense, But tbh, I know… and I really think that the next fic will be chaptered as we go along… , at the beginning of each chapter they're will be a preview of the chapter before, so you can make sense out of it… andand I spell checked this with word… so if there are any mistakes just tell me… and ill correct them. **

**Again… This is slash, if you don't like, then don't read on. **

**D/C; … Just read the disclaimer from the one before… **

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"_Good. Focus on nothing but that target." Ironhide breathed in Will's ear. 'FUCK YOU IRONHIDE. FUCK YOU.' _

_ "uh... finding that pretty difficult" he mumbled to himself. "Okay..." He said a bit louder._

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"Think of nothing but the target... squeeze the trigger, but not so hard that you fire off a shot. Just keep it on the brink." Ironhide said, following Will through the movement, making sure he didn't fire off the weapon. Will obliged. He felt the cool of the pistols trigger and the heat of Ironhide's hand. "Now, focus on the target again. Just think of the bullet hitting it. When you're ready, you can pull the trigger."

Will nodded; He breathed in deeply, and pulled the trigger gently, hitting the target dead square centre in the 'spark' or their heart.

"Well done." Ironhide smiled. "Do you want to try again?"

"Uh... No. I really don't think I should stay here longer than I need to" Will turned and faced Ironhide right in the face. The idea of settling down with a woman was sounding like the perfect idea right now.

"Have you got somewhere to go?" Ironhide asked. "I thought you had booked the range for two hours."

"Uh..." _Damn "_No... I-I forgot that I booked it for that long... But surely your bet has expired now? So... You can leave me to be humiliated" Will blushed as he realised how close to Ironhide's face he was.

"Or, now I've taught you how to shoot, we can go again. It'll be more evenly matched this time." Ironhide offered. "I promise I'll go easy on you."

"Oh... I doubt it. I don't think I will be able to concentrate" Will fingered his pistol nervously.

"Oh come on, why won't you be able to concentrate? I just taught you how!" Ironhide grinned. "Or are you scared of losing again?"

"Uh... Yeah... That's it. I-I'm scared of losing again" Will laughed slightly.

"Oh come on." Ironhide sighed. "You get to tell me to do whatever you want if you win." The Autobot winked at Will. 'FUCK YOU IRONHIDE. FUCK YOU.'

"Even if I ask you to leave me alone, so I can practise alone?" Will asked trying not to imagine Ironhide nekkid.

"Yes. I'll leave you alone, if you want me to." Ironhide said. "Do we have a deal?"

"Yeah... W-we do. W-Wait... Did you say you will do _anything _that I ask?" Will asked.

"Yes, I will do _anything_ that you ask." Ironhide replied. "Those were the conditions before, they still are. You can go first again."

"O-Okay. " Will aimed just the way Ironhide taught him.

"Remember, concentrate." Ironhide murmured, leaning against the side of the booth. "Focus only on the target."

"I'll try." He aimed and concentrated. He shot.

"Nice head shot. Again." Ironhide ordered. Will shot. "Good. One more time." Will shot one more time. Just as the bot commanded.

Ironhide walked forwards and took the pistol from Will's hand. "Three in a row. I'm impressed."

"You should be. Now. Your turn. Try and beat me" Will smirked and stepped aside, Deliberately brushing against Ironhide.

"I'll try." Ironhide sighed. He fired off three shots, deliberately missing any of the targets.

"Dick" Will mumbled. "Looks like I win Ironhide!" Will grinned.

"Yes, you won." Ironhide said, cocking his head to one side. "Do you want me to leave you alone now?"

"... No. Not really. It's nice having someone around while I'm shooting. Well... Attempting to shoot." Will moved Ironhide out of the way of the booth, and took the pistol trying to shoot some more Decepticons down from the paper.

"So what do you want me to do?" Ironhide asked, leaning against the wall and folding his arms.

"Uhh... What? Oh... I don't do these types of things. Can't you think of something for me to tell you to do?" Will asked. Placing the gun down on the side and turned to face the other man.

"Nope. You have to choose. You won." Ironhide grinned. "Come on, I'm waiting."

"Ah, Man. But, I'm shit. I told you. _'You'd hate me if I told you what I wanted'_

"I don't care." Ironhide said. "So, tell me anything. Whatever you want."

"Trust me, Ironhide. If you know what I wanted You would hate me" Will said.

"You don't know that." Ironhide said, stepping towards Will, cornering him.

'_Oh shit. Oh Shit. Oh Shit. Oh Shit. Oh shit.'_ "Uh, what If I don't want you to know what I want" Will said, trying to back away further into the corner. Ironhide moved closer, smiling.

"Well, I want to know what you want. You don't have a choice in the matter." Ironhide said.

"Uh okay. Well... Uh... I-I want.. I want..." Will sighed, there was no way he was able to tell the bot what he really wanted... He grinned wickedly. He lurched himself forward and crashed his lips to the other... man? Bot? Car? Will didn't really care... Ironhide pushed Will further into the corner, pressing his body against Will's.

Will groaned, trying to get closer to Ironhide. Pressing his groin into the other person. Ironhide had never experienced feelings like this before... that could've been because he spent most of his time running around as a trigger happy robot. Will pulled back, suddenly realising that this is a robot... not a real man... A. FREAKING. ROBOT. A robot that he was very close to.

"Will?" Ironhide asked. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, You're a robot... Like... A big robot... Not... Not real..." Will shook his head turning slightly.

"And? You're a human... not... a big robot." Ironhide smiled. Will gaped at him.

"I know that... and I bruise... Robot's don't..."

"So?" Ironhide asked. "Besides, I'm not a robot at the moment. I'm a hologram."

"Oh yeah... Uhhh... But how do I know that you won't change into a robot when you get excited." Will nudged Ironhide's shoulder with his head.

"You don't. You'll just have to trust me." Ironhide smirked. "And anyway, the topkick is parked over there. You wouldn't be in any danger if I did turn back into a robot." Will literally facepalmed himself, he had been such a dipshit.

"Oh, For fucks sake" Will repeated the before action and crushed his lips into Ironhide's hologram. But, with added fervour. Ironhide forced his tongue into Will's mouth, gaining dominance. Will groaned and pushed himself (not with the dick in the hole) into Ironhide. Ironhide slammed Will against the wall and began to kiss Will's jaw line and down to his neck, fiddling with the buttons on Will's shirt.

"Oh. My. God." They both turned to see Optimus Prime standing behind them.

"Oh shit." Will paled when he saw the big bot standing there.

"Oh... did you want something, Optimus?" Ironhide asked, looking up at the Autobot leader, completely unfazed.

"Well... We were wondering where Will was. **(OH YEAH BITCH, ALLITERATION)** But... Nevermind." Optimus changed to vehicle mode and went to drive off.

"WAIT!" Will detached himself from Ironhide. "Who was looking for me?"

"Epps. I'll tell him your here" He drove off leaving will standing there like a guppy. Ironhide walked up behind Will and wrapped his arms around him, pulling Will against his body.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Pfft. Not likely" Will turned and kissed the bot.

Ironhide broke away. "But Optimus said Epps was looking for you. He might come here. Do you want him to find out?"

"Yep... He's been lusting over you ever since he met you. I'm no good at maths... and he needs to know that your mine" Will kissed his neck, biting the neck. Marking him.

"I was a robot when he met me." Ironhide said, confused. His face broke into a smile. "How long have _you _been lusting after me?"

"I-I Uh.. I don't know, Not long... only when we started getting close. Epps has always been jealous of our closeness" Will blushed.

"Do you and Epps talk about me a lot?" Ironhide asked, undoing the buttons on Will's shirt.

"Uh... Probably" Will moaned.

"Probably?" Ironhide raised one eyebrow, undoing the last buttons on Will's shirt and sliding the fabric down Will's arms, dropping the discarded clothing to the ground.

"Uh. Yeah... definitely. Uh. What are we talking about again?" Will said pressing closer to the other person.

"Nevermind." Ironhide rolled his eyes, kissing Will's neck. Will wrapped his arms around Ironhide's neck, wanting to crush out any and all light between them.

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**A.A.N; Uhm… Yeahh… chapter 2… Hope you liked it… Chapter 3 should be up tomorrow… it's gunna be a daily thing… So… YEAH! **

**Please Review… I'll give cookies to everyone… **** again... Spell check on word, so if there are any mistakes feel free to point them out!!! **

**xxxDarknessxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N; Does anyone read these things? Cuz I hate writing them… **

**You know the drill, Slash… No likey… No ready…. **

**D/C; … No ownage… No Moneys made (darn)… No Profit… written for enjoyment… **

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"_Uh. Yeah... definitely. Uh. What are we talking about again?" Will said pressing closer to the other person. _

_ "Nevermind." Ironhide rolled his eyes, kissing Will's neck. Will wrapped his arms around Ironhide's neck, wanting to crush out any and all light between them. _

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"O-Okay..." will moaned.

"Will!?" the man in question groaned as he heard his name being called. The man called again. "Will? Whe- Oh, there you are... Oh" Will turned his head to see Epps standing there.

"Oh, for fucks sake... Can't we get any peace. What do you want Epps? Can't you see I'm busy?" Will asked., slightly pissed off that everyone keeps interrupting them.

"Oh... well... I... erm... I was looking for you..." Epps shifted uncomfortably. "But... well, it can... it can wait."

"If it can wait... Then why are you still here?" Will snapped. He was horny, frustrated, and pissed off that people keep distracting him.

"Oh... okay then... I'll go." Epps turned around and walked away.

"Don't you think that was a little bit harsh?" Ironhide asked.

"Don't you start 'Hide. It's only Epps... He's like in love with you. Or do you want to go and fuck him instead?" Will retorted harshly.

"What? What the hell is wrong with you?!" Ironhide asked. "He's your best friend!"

"And!? If you were fucking someone and someone kept walking in you, even if they were your best friend you would get snappy!"

"Well I wouldn't know, because I've never fucked anyone!" Ironhide picked up Will's shirt and threw it at him.

"Wait... What? Ironhide! I didn't mean it like that... Wait... You're still a virgin?!" Will asked, gripping his shirt.

"Yes, if you want to put it that way." Ironhide stormed out of the booth. Will ran after Ironhide

"Ironhide, please... I didn't mean it that way"

"Look, it doesn't matter. I just need some energon and some recharge. I'm just tired." Ironhide sighed. Will caught up to Ironhide and grabbed his arm.

"I'm sorry 'Hide. I just don't like it when people interrupt me. Please... just talk to me?" Will asked.

"Will, I'm tired, okay?" Ironhide snapped. "Just... just leave me alone."

"'Hide, wait... can't we just talk?" Will turned Ironhide to face him.

"About what?"

"About what just happened. I'm really sorry. Honestly"

"Yeah okay. I need some energon." Ironhide grumbled. The hologram disappeared and the topkick engine revved. Will watched the car drive away.

"SHIT!" Will threw his shirt back on, and went to find Epps. Someone had to pay.

Epps was in the hangar, talking to Graham and Ratchet about something.

"Epps!" Will shouted into the hanger, grabbing him by the throat and slamming him into the wall. "Why did you want to find me, what was so goddamned important that you interrupted me and 'Hide? Possibly the best thing that has EVER happened to me. WHAT IS SO GODDAMNED IMPORTANT!?"

"Ugh..." Epps choked.

"Will, let him go – you're choking him!" Graham insisted, punching Will in the face.

"ARGH!" Will roared and threw Epps on the floor and stood over him. "Are you going to answer me"

"Decepticons..." Epps gasped, getting his breath back. "There are Decepticons in the area... I was told to warn you."

"Oh for fucks sake" Will turned into soldier mode. "Do all the Autobots know?"

"Yes... Optimus was looking for the Autobots to tell them, I was looking for any humans." Epps said. "Optimus told me he had seen Ironhide... he didn't tell me what you and him were doing..."

"I feel so lost..." Graham sighed. "Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going on???"

"Nevermind, Graham... I need to go find Ironhide" Will ran off to find the Autobot.

"From my observations, I can tell you that Will is sexually frustrated." Ratchet concluded.

"... Thanks a lot Ratchet." Graham said, walking away. He honestly didn't want to know anymore.

Will knocked on the Autobots door.

"IRONHIDE? Ironhide, open up. It's important." Will kept knocking on the door.

"Go away, I'm trying to recharge." Ironhide snapped.

"I'm not here because of what just happened. I'm here about the Decepticons, that's why Epps interrupted us. They're in the area. We need to go find them... I'll be in the hanger with Ratchet and Epps." Will sighed and walked away.

Ironhide opened the door. "Will, come back." he sighed. Will turned and faced the bigger bot.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Ironhide asked.

"Yeah... Why wouldn't I be?" Will replied with a look of confusion plastered on his face.

"I just thought... I thought I might've upset you earlier."

"Oh, that... well... it wasn't your fault... I got snappy... attacked my best friend... lost the best thing that was ever going to happen to me... So yeah... My fault" Will turned to walk away to the hanger.

"You don't have to go." Ironhide called after him.

"Yeah, I do... The Autobots want to start on the Decepticons."

"Oh. Do they need me?" Ironhide asked.

"well... I assume so. You are the weapons specialist" will turned back to Ironhide.

"Well, no-one has told me I'm needed. I guess I'll just wait here, until Optimus calls me." Ironhide said. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Wait... Ironhide... Optimus may not come for you, I think he thinks I'm coming to get you because of what he saw... So... I need you there. Forgive me for what I did?" will asked.

"I see no reason to forgive you. You haven't done anything wrong." Ironhide walked out of his room, and over to Will, standing in front of him. "Shall we go?"

"Yeah... lets go, and Ironhide, thanks" Will smiled at him and walked off.

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**A.N; Well… Hope you liked Chapter 3… **

**Click the little review box… Makes me happy!!! **

**I swear… it's always a party in my pants! ….. **

**xxxDarknessxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N: I Actually, am SICK of doing these things now! I wonder if anyone will miss them, when they're gone… Oh dear. **

**WELP! This is chapter 4, and it you've read this far then… You must like it a little bit… Right? **

**Uhm,… **

**D/C; Do not own. I wish I did… Then I would make Megatron and Optimus have a MASS gay-off I the 3****rd**** film… I think it would make it a lot more interesting, and Mikeala (or how ever you spell her name)) wouldn't exist… because well… I don't like her, and then I would make the Decepticons win more, and I've just realised I've been rambling for the past however long,… .**

**Enjoy the fic.**

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_"I see no reason to forgive you. You haven't done anything wrong." Ironhide walked out of his room, and over to Will, standing in front of him. "Shall we go?"_

_ "Yeah... lets go, and Ironhide, thanks" Will smiled at him and walked off. _

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**BACK AT THE HANGER **

"Is everyone here now?" Optimus asked as Will and Ironhide walked into the hangar.

"I'm here!" Will said going to stand by Epps's side. "Hey man, Sorry... about earlier"

"Oh... yeah... well, I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to interrupt you guys..." Epps shifted uncomfortably. "I wish Optimus had warned me... then I wouldn't have walked in... sorry."

"Yeah, well... Optimus is too proud, he wanted to keep our secret. It's not even anything... it was a spur of the moment. I doubt it will develop into more." Will said pulling Epps into a 'man hug'

"You want it to develop into more though, right?" Epps grinned, squirming to get out of the 'MAN HUG'. 'FOR FUCKS SAKE EPPS, ACCEPT THE MAN HUG!'

"Well... sure. I'm sorry. I know you like him" Will pulled out of the man hug letting him go, Epps shrugged.

"Meh it's okay. Besides, I don't like him as much as you do, do I?" Epps raised his eyebrows.

"I don't know, do you? Either way. You wouldn't be allowed him, he's mine" Will grinned, looking over the bot who was conversing with the Autobot leader. Will caught his eyes and grinned wider.

"Yeah well, he's only yours because I let you win."

"Pfft, yeah right. I bet you won't be able to win him over"

"Oh, really?" Epps asked.

"Yeah, Really" will challenged

"You're going down, Mr Lennox."

"You two, at the back – Pay attention!" Optimus scowled. Will snickered.

"How much do you wanna bet?" He whispered

"Will, get out." Optimus snapped. "I can hear you whispering."

"I so was not whispering!" Will whined, much like a 10 yr old being told he wasn't allowed any candy.

"Will, I heard you whispering and I have recorded it as an audio file. Get out, I'll talk to you later, when you calm down." Will couldn't help but snicker, and walked out before it turned to full fledged laughter. He was going to get Epps.

The briefing finished around an hour later. Everyone walked out of the room. Epps was walking with Ironhide. They were both laughing and whispering. Will tackled Epps to the floor.

"You bastard. You made me get told off" Will laughed rolling off Epps and standing, helping up his friend at the same time.

"I didn't make you get told off. It was all your fault." Epps said, brushing himself down, then tripping Will up. Will grabbed Epps's leg and pulled him down as well. Starting a scuffle.

"Awe, man, whats the point???"

"What do you mean 'what's the point'?" Epps asked, pulling Will to his feet.

"Why'd you trip me up?" he asked standing.

"Because you tackled me to the ground!" Epps protested. Ironhide floored both of them.

"WAHH! What... What the fuck... Ironhide! Why'd you do THAT!?" Will asked looking at Ironhide, scandalised.

"Because you were both being immature." Ironhide smiled. Epps kicked Ironhide's legs out from underneath him, so he landed on the floor too. Graham walked around the corner and stopped. All he saw were three men jumping on top of each other, getting very 'down and dirty'

"What's going on? Ah man... I'm gunna go see my therapist"

"What's a therapist?" Ironhide asked, putting Will in a headlock. Will kept pulled his head back trying to get out of it

"A therapist is someone you go too, to talk about feelings and emotions and stuff. It was a standard thing to offer our human soldiers because of all we saw, he was the only one who accepted" Will punched Ironhide's stomach.

"Ouch... I feel kinda sorry for Graham." Ironhide mused, releasing Will from his grip.

"Don't, he's a good soldier. He just has a habit of doing the right things at the wrong time." Will said pouncing on Ironhide.

"Erm, excuse me." Epps grabbed Will's ankles and dragged him away from Ironhide. "I wouldn't say Graham does the right things at the wrong time... he just has a bad sense of timing."

Will threw a punch at Epps, connecting with his jaw. "Alright, so he has a bad sense of timing... He's still a good soldier"

"Ouch! Why did you punch me?" Epps demanded, rubbing his jaw.

"I guess I got carried away." Will said, petting Epps's jaw. "I'm sorry Robert's jaw there there, all better," Will said adopting a camp voice.

"... I'm starting to think you two are attacking each other for other reasons." Ironhide sighed. "Have you been fighting again?"

"No. Nah, don't worry about it 'Hide. Anyway... 'Hide, can I have a word?" Will asked, rubbing the almost bald head of Epps's.

"Yeah, of course. Oh yeah, Optimus was going to e-mail you the briefing. He has other stuff to do, so he won't have time to see you." Ironhide replied.

"Is this a private conversation?" Epps asked.

"Uh, yeah... Sorry Epps"

"Oh, I see how it is." Epps grinned. "I'll see you guys later, okay?" Epps walked away, leaving Ironhide and Will alone.

"Bye Epps!" Will called after his friend, waving and grinning

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Ironhide asked.

"About earlier, we didn't really have time to talk, and I just want to say sorry for snapping and having a go at you. Can you please forgive me" will asked

"I already told you, there's nothing to forgive. It's fine, okay?" Ironhide smiled.

"Yeah, but... I just feel I upset you" Will walked up to Ironhide and wrapped his arms around the bots neck and pecked him on the lips.

"Well, it doesn't matter. Just forget about it, please?" Ironhide sighed.

"Only if you promise me one thing..." Will asked.

"I will. What do you want me to promise you?" Ironhide asked.

"Don't let Epps win you over. I can't stand to lose a bet, and a friend"

"Oh, is this what that fight was about?" Ironhide smiled. "Well, to make the odds fair, I suppose I should play hard to get for both of you." Will pouted,

"Ah, but that means, you don't get your daily dose of vitamin will.. you sure you can handle that?" Will asked, nuzzling his neck.

"I don't need vitamins... and I didn't know there was a vitamin called 'Will'." Ironhide looked confused.

"There isn't it's- Nevermind. Don't worry about it" Will said shaking his head, he loved the mech sometimes.

"Okay. I guess it's just another human figure of speech or something." Ironhide rolled his eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me. It's just your naive" Will punched his shoulder.

"Oh, you're saying that _I'm_ naive?" Ironhide raised his eyebrows. "At this rate, I'll be letting Epps win."

"Okay, ill shut up. Why would you let Epps win? I thought you didn't like Epps in that way"

"I don't, but he doesn't call me naive." Ironhide grinned.

"how do you know he doesn't call you it behind your back?" will went back to nuzzling his neck

"He might... but he's never said it to my face, unlike you."

"at least I'm honest"

"Hmm how do I know that you are?"

"because I just called you naive. And I'm not afraid to call you names in front of your face and I know that you can squish me" Will grinned, He knew that he was acting like a kid, but he knew he could get away with it.

"Never thought of squishing you before." Ironhide joked. "I'll keep that in mind."

"No... That wasn't meant to be an idea... I don't wanna be squished" will mock begged.

"Well, stop insulting me then." Ironhide sighed.

"fine" will licked Ironhide's cheek.

"Well, you could try making it up to me." Ironhide shrugged. Will grinned and pushed himself into Ironhide.

"oh, and how would you like to be made up to?"

"I'm pretty sure you have a few ideas." Ironhide leant down and crushed his lips to Will's. The soldier responded with added passion.

Epps walked around the corner, grinning. "Oh for God's sake, can't you two do anything in private?" Will flipped him the 'bird'

"can't you ever stop following us? I know you're a voyeur" will grinned

"And how would you know that?" Epps asked. "Besides, I'm checking the corridors to make sure they're safe for Graham. That poor guy..."

"don't lie to me. It's only Graham, he'll be fine"

"He's going to have a breakdown, one day." Epps insisted. "And you two are probably going to be the main contribution."

"I thought it would of been the Decepticons, not my gay love affair with a mech's hologram" will laughed.

"Your gay love affair with a mech's hologram is the scariest thing I've ever seen... even scarier than the Decepticons." Epps grinned. "I'd best be on my way, I have more corridors to check."

"I thought that pig wearing make up was the scariest thing you had ever seen?"

"What pig wearing make up?" Epps asked. "I haven't seen a pig wearing make up..."

"yeah, you have, at that fair we saw before we met the Autobots" will poked his tongue out at Epps.

"Oh... that was YOU! Not a pig!" Epps ran away, laughing. Will snorted

"yeah, right!"

"You wore make up?" Ironhide asked, trying not to laugh and kissing Will on the forehead.

"... Yes but it was only one time."

"Oh my God." Ironhide broke into hysterics.

"I'm going to kill him" Will pulled away from Ironhide and started to walk away "come find me, when you start acting mature"

Ironhide grabbed Will's arm. "Oh, since when was I the immature one?" Ironhide pushed Will up against the wall and began to undo the buttons on his shirt. "Now, where did we get to earlier?" Will moaned

"you became the immature one when you started laughing at my drunkenness" Will started to nibble on 'hide's neck.

"It was quite funny. It would've been even more hilarious if you were sober when it happened." Ironhide grinned, lifting Will's chin so he could stare into his eyes. Ironhide pressed he lips to Will's in a passionate and forceful kiss. Will responded, wrapping his legs around Ironhide's waist and his arms around Ironhide's neck. Ironhide pulled Will's body flush against his, forcing his tongue into Will's mouth. Will was shocked for a second then started kissing back.

"We should probably go somewhere more private." Ironhide murmured.

"I like that idea" Will said whispering against Ironhide's lips.

"Well, which way is your room?" Ironhide asked.

"this way" will unhooked his legs and grabbed Ironhide's arm and pulled him away from the random corridor they were in.

"Hi Graham." Ironhide smiled and waved as they passed the British soldier. Graham's eyes widened in shock and he turned around, heading in the opposite direction.

"Oh god.... Epps!" Graham called he was gunna have a word with that man.

"oops" will chuckled. He had forgotten about the brit.

"Poor Graham." Ironhide mused. "He'll be okay again one day... I hope we haven't scarred him for life.

"probably already have" will grinned and continued on his way.

"Hmm... at least he has a therapist." Ironhide said. "Are we there yet?"

"haha, yeah, almost" Will laughed "here we are"

"Well, open the door." Ironhide said. "Or do you want me to kick it down?"

"no, ill open it, I doubt Morshower will want to replace my door." Will opened up the door.

"For some reason, I was waiting for an 'again' at the end of that sentence." Ironhide smiled and cocked his head to one side. "Would I have been correct?"

"Uh, Yeah... Same night with the make up. I fell into the door with Epps" will laughed

"So, you and Epps have... been together?" Ironhide asked.

"Uh, yeah... we didn't know what we wanted.. it was a couple of one night stands never anything serious"

"Ah. I know what you mean." Ironhide said. "I'm okay with that."

"You sure?" will asked

"Of course I am. It was before you met me." Ironhide replied.

"well, yeah, but other people have a problem with me being best friends with an ex lover"

"Will, I'm not a person." Ironhide reminded him. "Besides... well... I understand your situation."

"Do you?" Will looked at Ironhide with disbelief.

"Yes." Ironhide sighed. "Please... don't ask me about it. It's not something I like to talk about."

"But, I thought we weren't gunna have secrets against each other?" will asked.

"It was thousands of years ago." Ironhide replied. "It doesn't matter. If we weren't going to have secrets, it would take an eternity for me to tell you all of them. I've been alive longer than you could ever dream of."

"Well... I meant like major secrets. Not the tiny ones that you keep from everyone"

"My race is very secretive." Ironhide sighed. "Can we go in now?"

"Yes" He grabbed Ironhide's arm and shoved into the room and slammed the door. Will jumped on Ironhide and kissed him. Ironhide fell backwards in surprise, landing on his back on the floor. Will chuckled and kissed him.

"Surprisingly, that didn't hurt." Ironhide mused, kissing Will back.

"Thats cuz you're a big bad robot" will started kissing down Ironhide's jaw and his neck.

"Not at the moment." Ironhide said. "If I was a 'big bad robot' you wouldn't be doing this to me right now."

"No, Your right, I'd be liking your spark" Will lifted up Ironhide's shirt and kissed his chest.

"Hmm... this all feels so weird to me." Ironhide said. "I've... never felt anything like this before."

"Don't worry.. it'll all just come to you"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, if your not comfortable then just say and ill stop" will didn't stop kissing.

"Okay." Ironhide said, squirming underneath Will.

"Stop squirming. Do you want me to stop?"

"No.... and I can't stop squirming! It tickles." Ironhide smiled.

"Your ticklish?" Will smirked and started lightly tickling Ironhide's sides.

"No." Ironhide's eyes were shifty.

"I don't believe you" He got his fingers and placed them. He then started tickling in earnest.

"STOP!" Ironhide laughed, trying to push Will away. "PLEASE... stop tickling me." He didn't let up

"NEVARRRRR. I WILL NEVER SURRENDERRR" He continued doing it.

"Fine." Ironhide grabbed Will's wrists and pinned his arms to his sides.

"Ho, shit... Uhm... Ironhide, I promise I won't tickle you.. now don't pin me" Will tried to break out of the grip Ironhide had on him.

"And why shouldn't I pin you?" Ironhide smirked, tightening his grip on Will's arms. Will winced

"Because, I'm awesome?" Will smiled slightly.

"Pfft. Like THAT'S an excuse." Ironhide rolled his eyes.

"Uhm, I don't have an excuse... How about... because you love me?" Will asked, leaning to give Ironhide a quick kiss on the lips.

"Hmm... no." Ironhide grinned and placed a kiss on Will's lips.

"You don't love me?"

"No, I love you – but it's not a valid excuse."

"I thought it would be!" Will kissed Ironhide's cheek and rested his head in between the crook of his neck and shoulder.

"Well it isn't." Ironhide smiled, pulling Will close to him.

"awe why not?!" will asked kissing Ironhide's neck.

"Because you were tickling me. I hate being tickled."

"But you love it when I kiss you, so surely it works?"

"Hmmm I'll think about that."

"I don't think you need to think about it" Will started kissing up to Ironhide's jaw.

"Well, I do." Ironhide smirked. "Maybe you could persuade me otherwise."

"and what did you have in mind?" Will asked

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you can think of something." Ironhide lifted Will's chin and crashed his lips to the other man's. Will responded fervently, pushing his tongue into Ironhide's mouth. Gaining dominance. Ironhide pushed Will away from him and pounced on him, straddling Will's thighs. Will pushed his hips up and met his groin, He groaned at the contact. "Hmmm, maybe I'm persuaded now." Ironhide snickered.

"I thought you would be" Will grinned. Ironhide started nipping at Will's neck, marking him as his. Will moaned.

"Why do I get the feeling someone's going to walk in?"

"Because whenever we try and do anything someone walks in?" Ironhide murmured against Will's neck. The soldier whimpered,

"Why though? It's not like we walk in on them" Will shot up "I have it! I think we should get Epps and Graham together... Graham seems to like a bit of black candy" Will leant back down an nuzzled Ironhide's neck, "Fancy helping?"

"Haha yes." Ironhide grinned. "Maybe then Graham won't have to see his therapist. How about... I take Epps, you take Graham?"

"Why do I get the 'Fucked-In-The-Head' Brit? Are you sneaking around with Epps behind my back?"

"No... I just think Graham would be more comfortable with you... I'm not human and you are."

"Hmm... Makes logical sense I guess... How about we start it... now? Wait... what are we doing?"

Ironhide rolled his eyes. "We're persuading Graham and Epps to get together... I don't know how... but we're going to do it."

"I love you sometimes Ironhide... Should we get Morshower involved?"

"Why would we get Morshower involved?" Ironhide asked, confused

"Because if we do, He can use his power and get them two to fuck by the power of his awesomness" Will plotted.

* * *

**A.N. Welp… they're you have… lots of plots are going on now… and I know we kept interrupting Will and Ironhide's sexy tiem… but it is gunna be explained soon. **

**Review? **

**xxxDarknessxxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N; okay… Hopefully… You guiz all liked the last chapter… Well… hopefully the whole fic… That would be cool.**

**Uhm… Again… Slash… Don't like… well… you know the drill**

**D/C… NO OWNY! Glad we got that out of the way**

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"_Why would we get Morshower involved?" Ironhide asked, confused_

_ "Because if we do, He can use his power and get them two to fuck by the power of his awesomness" Will plotted. _

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_

"Or, as a senior officer he outranks them, so he could abuse his power and order them to fuck." Ironhide shrugged.

"Or that one... C'mon! Let's go do it now!" Will sat up and tugged Ironhide up with him.

"What? See Morshower, or pester them ourselves?" Ironhide asked. He really had no idea what Will was up to.

"Pester them ourselves... really Ironhide keep with the program" Will rolled his eyes.

"Sorry... but you just get so many ideas in your head I never know which one we're going through with." Ironhide smiled. "You really need to slow down sometimes."

"Nahhhh, the early bird gets the worm, so you gotta be fast! Quick... Fast... " Will leant over and licked Ironhide "and prepared" He smirked

"Oh don't worry, I'm pretty sure I'm all of those things." Ironhide grinned. "Try not to give Graham a breakdown."

"Oh I won't.. Well... I'll try not to! Don't fall for Epps's black candy-ness... He uses it to his advantage" Will warned, he jumped up and onto his feet

"Yeah well... don't fall for Graham's British-ness." Ironhide grinned. "I know you have a soft spot for British accents..."

"Uh, How do you know that?" Will asked

"I have a British accent Will, that's how I know." Ironhide kissed Will and walked away smiling.

"Fuck, that bot knows me well" Will muttered to himself. "welp! Best be off" Will skipped off to find the 'Fucked-In-The-Head' Brit.

Ironhide knocked on the door to Epps's quarters. "Epps, you in there?"

"Uhh... Yeah.. but I'm busy at the moment bro" Epps said in a slight rushed voice.

"I just want to talk... what are you doing?" Ironhide asked.

"Uh, Don't worry... noth- Uhhhhh, Nothing you need to concern yourself with 'Hide" Epps groaned.

"Epps? Are you sure you're okay?" Ironhide smirked. "You sound like you're in some sort of pain..."

"Uh, N-No, Ironhide... I'm not in any pain, at all"

"Well I need to talk to you urgently..." Ironhide said. "Do you want me to let myself in?"

"Uhhh, OH godddddd.... Uhm.... N-No, Ironhide, honest I'm fine... Can it wait?" Epps asked trying to get his voice under control.

"No, it can't wait." Ironhide smirked. "Are you with someone?"

"N-No" A moan here "No-one is here" A moan there. "No need to concern yourself"

"Oh okay. But this is really urgent... oh by the way, have you seen Graham? Will's looking for him."

"Oh God! Uh, No I haven't, seriously... can't it wait?"

"No Epps, it can't wait. If you don't answer this door in thirty seconds I am kicking it down."

"No, Please, Ironhide don't bother" Epps said, desperately.

"10... 9... 8..." Ironhide began to count down.

"Please! Ironhide! Don't!"

"...7... 6... 5..."

"NO! I'M TELLING YOU IRONHIDE, DON'T YOU DARE COME IN! I'M BEING SERIOUS!"

"...4... 3... 2..." Ironhide cracked his knuckles.

"NO IRONHIDE! STOP IT!"

"1... READY OR NOT, I'M COMING IN." Ironhide kicked the door down.

"Shit... Uhm, Ironhide, this isn't what it looks like! Graham is just... um... Brushing his teeth!" Epps blushed

"Graham is brushing his teeth with his head in your lap?" Ironhide raised one eyebrow, trying not to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Uh... Well... He... He... Uh... Fell... Into my lap... and I was just about to help him up" Epps stood up, not realising that he had his dick out... Stupid Epps... Stupid, Stupid Epps...

"Hi Ironhide." Graham grinned nervously.

"So... if Graham fell into your lap, why are your trousers undone and why isn't Graham wearing a shirt?"

"Uh...Yeah Graham... Why is my dick out and why is your shirt not on?" Epps asked, still blushing like a tomato, and stuttering ever so slightly

"Erm... I don't know... I took my shirt off because I was hot." Graham said quickly. "Epps, maybe you should do up your trousers?"

"Yeah... I went to the toilet... and then you came in... and... yeah... Then he fell" Epps scratched behind his head nervously.

"IRONHIDEEEEEE!!! I CAN'T FIND Graham..." Will walked into the room.. "Oh... hehehe..." Will giggled, "Looks like we don't need to do anything 'Hide... they done it themselves. C'mon dear" Will chuckled again.

"We weren't doing anything." Graham protested, rather flustered. "I tripped..."

"Your pheromone levels indicate sexual activity." Ironhide said bluntly. "Did you really think you could lie to me?"

"Oh shit... Yeah... I forgot about that" Epps said putting his arm around Graham's shoulder. "I don't think we can fool them anymore"

"Yeah..." Graham said. "Well, whenever I said I needed to see my therapist... well... I was going to see Epps... not a therapist."

"I guess he can count as a therapist..." Will contemplated.

"Come on, Will. We should probably leave them alone – we don't want to embarrass them even more."

"Okay" Will turned to leave "Wait... Graham, does this mean that you're not a 'Fucked-In-The-Head' Brit anymore, you're a Not-So-Fucked-In-the-Head' Brit."

"Wait – you called me a 'Fucked-In-The-Head' Brit?" Graham asked.

"Come on Will, let's go." Ironhide grinned, dragging Will out of the room. "Oh and Graham, be careful. Will finds British accents sexy."

"I DO NOT! And it's not just me... wait... yeah it is just me..." Will laughed.

"Come on." Ironhide rolled his eyes and dragged Will out of the room. "Leave Graham to his 'therapy'."

"Does that mean we can has sex time nao?" Will asked Ironhide, grinning back at Epps. 'I Win.' Will mouthed to Epps.

"Tch. I don't care if you won." Epps said, snuggling with Graham.

"Yes Will, we can has sex time nao." Ironhide said. "Just... can we get out of Epps's room?"

"Oh Yeah... Come on then" Will grabbed Ironhide's arm and dragged him out and towards his room.

"No random interruptions this time?" Ironhide asked.

"They weren't random, I think we uncovered a big secret... Don't you feel accomplished?" Will responded, closing the door behind Ironhide. He pushed the bot against the door and started kissing his neck.

"They were random... and yes, I suppose I do feel accomplished." Ironhide contemplated. "I doubt Epps and Graham do, seeing as I interrupted them."

"Well... Epps interrupted us the first time... It's payback. It all works out in the end."

"Well, Optimus interrupted us first." Ironhide said. "But nevermind. Let's concentrate on now."

"Okay.. I can deal with that" Will continued to 'Nom' on his neck, and kissed up to his lips. Ironhide kissed Will back, his arms around Will's waist, holding Will's body against his. Will started to grind his hips against the other persons hips. Moaning in the process. Ironhide groaned against Will's neck and begin to nip at the skin of Will's neck, running one of his hands up Will's t-shirt in the process. Will sighed, moving his arms around Ironhide's neck.

"Will, I love you." Ironhide murmured. "But I think we should do this in your room... not the corridor outside..."

"Good point" Will opened the door and pushed Ironhide in there, closing the door and pushing Ironhide onto the bed. He walked up to him and sat on him, crushing his lips onto Ironhide's. Ironhide rolled Will over, so now he was the one on top of Will.

"Oh no, I am not going on the bottom." Ironhide grinned, kissing Will again. Will laughed against Ironhide's lips.

"You're not. If you don't feel like bottoming then that's fine."

"Way to kill a mood, Will." Ironhide rolled his eyes and grinned, licking Will's cheek.

"I'm great at that" Will said kissing Ironhide again.

"Hmmm." Ironhide hummed, sliding his tongue into Will's mouth. Will responded by grinding his hips into Ironhide's groin. Ironhide pulled Will up and tore off his t-shirt, throwing it to the other side of the room.

"Hey! That was my favourite shirt!" Will leant down and started kissing his way down Ironhide's torso.

"I think you look better without it." Will hummed and found his way INTO Ironhide's shirt He lifted it up over his head and tossed it on the floor

"See. I don't rip you're clothes off. I take them off and place them on the floor"

"Yes well, I can make my clothes disappear if I want to." Ironhide said. "And besides, I couldn't be bothered to remove your clothing properly."

"Wait... Why don't you just hologram your clothes off. Instead of me, doing all the work?" Will asked, taking a nipple in his mouth and biting... Hard.

Ironhide yelped and grabbed a fistful of Will's hair, dragging Will's face up to his. "Because I have to remove your clothing properly... I'm not just projecting mine away."

"That don't make sense" Will licked Ironhide's lips.

"Yes it does. Your mind just isn't working because I'm too attractive – it's breaking your brain." Ironhide began to undo Will's belt. Will moaned. And kissed Ironhide's neck. "See, you can't even answer me." Ironhide undid Will's belt and pulled it out of the loops, dropping it to the floor.

"Uh, can't you go faster?" Will grabbed Ironhide's trousers and ripped them off his legs and threw them on the floor.

"No. I'm not going to go any faster." Ironhide insisted, undoing Will's jeans and nibbling Will's ear. "And you can't make me." Will groaned and pushed his hips into Ironhide's emphasising the bulge in his pants moaning at the contact. Ironhide slid Will's trousers down his thighs and then off, throwing them on the floor.

"see you're going faster already!"

"Tch. You're still wearing your underwear."

"fuck you" Will kissed Ironhide's collarbone.

"I thought you wanted to."

* * *

**A.N; Welp… There should only e one more chapter after this… **

**Hope you like it!!!!! **

**Reviews = Love!!!!**

**xxxDarknessxxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N. HORRAYYYY, LAST CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

**Man… does it feel good….. So much so, I'm not gunna write one of these!**

**D/C; Yeah……… Sure…… I own them….. **

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_ "fuck you" Will kissed Ironhide's collarbone._

_ "I thought you wanted to."_

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_

"I wanted you to fuck me rather.... I don't think I'd be able to fuck another guy in the ass, I'm more a bottom myself" Will nibbled on the collarbone continuously grinding. Either Ironhide wasn't turned on, or he was really good at keeping self control.

"Hmmm okay." Ironhide said, grabbing Will's hips. "Do you want me to take off your boxers now? And don't worry, I'll try not to rip them."

"Oh god yes!" Will kissed ironhide. He was turned on enough... He needed release... NOW! Ironhide pulled Will's boxers off and threw them across the room. He then kissed Will hungrily, grinding himself against Will. He moaned loudly at the friction.

"Oh God... Ironhide... Please"

"Yes?" Ironhide asked breathlessly.

"Fuck Me" Will moaned against Ironhide's skin. Ironhide didn't answer. He just continued to kiss Will, one of his hands on Will's thigh and the other on Will's chest.

"Ironhide.... Please... Stop teasing..." Ironhide kissed his way down Will's chest and kissed the inside of Will's thigh.

"Oh... Fuck, Ironhide..." Will moaned and fisted his hands into Ironhide's head. Ironhide took Will into his mouth. Will moaned VERY Loudly.

"Boys I-" Morshower walked into the room, took one look at them, and decided, for his health... He should back away slowly and pretend, he never saw that. That was good for his health. Morshower turned around, closed the door behind him and walked away.

"Oh for fucks sake... How many times are we going to get interrupted"

"Too many... maybe we should start locking the door." Ironhide suggested.

"Oh... I forgot about the lock..." Will got up and walked over to the door and turned the lock. "There we go" He walked over back to Ironhide and sat on him "All done!"

"Good boy." Ironhide patted Will on the head.

"Stop patronising me!" Will licked Ironhide's cheek. "I can be patronising too you know"

"Tch. I doubt it." Ironhide smiled.

"Fuck you Ironhide, Fuck you right in the ear"

"Please, don't. I like my ears the way they are."

"It's only an expression 'Hide" Will rolled his eyes.

"Well I'm not exactly human. Sometimes I found it difficult to understand all of these expressions and figures of speech." Ironhide sighed. Will snickered.

"Don't worry about it, You'll pick them up eventually"

"Just like I picked you up?" Ironhide asked and pulled Will down for another kiss. Will 'hmphed' against Ironhide's lips. He pulled up.

"You didn't pick me up... I picked myself up... well... not literally... oh nevermind" Will crashed his lips against the weapons specialist.

"Sometimes I think you get more confused yourself." Ironhide laughed.

"What..." Will asked MOST confused.

"You never know what words to use... maybe you're just special."

"... Thanks... Niice to know that you love me" Will moved over and sat on the bed, he pulled his legs up to his chest and sulked.

Ironhide stood up and walked over to the bed and looked down at Will. "Did I upset you? If I did I'm sorry... I didn't mean to. I was just taking the piss."

"I know you were taking the piss. It's your fault..." will pouted.

"What's my fault?" Ironhide asked. He was confused. "Is it because I upset you? I told you I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

"I don't know what is your fault. To be honest...." will looked up at Ironhide. "love you?"

"I love you too." Ironhide smiled and then grinned. "And do you have any idea how cute you look, sitting there staring up at me?"

"How cute?" Will asked, smiling.

Ironhide took a deep breath. "Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really cute." He sat down beside Will and pulled him into a hug, nuzzling his neck. "I could add more, but we would be here for a really long time."

"You like the word really don't you?" will laughed, leaning his head back to allow Ironhide better access to his neck.

"Hmm it was the only one that I could think of on the spot." Ironhide murmured.

"oh right" Will moved his head and kissed Ironhide "You're not very articulate are you?"

"No... I'm not." Ironhide mumbled, pushing Will down onto the bed and climbing on top of him. "But I don't think it really matters right now..."

"No, I don't think it really does" Will moaned. Ironhide pressed his groin against Will's and moaned loudly. Will giggled.

"Are you sure this is your first time?" Will asked, pushing his hips up.

"I'm pretty sure I would remember if it wasn't."

"Well, you're very good at doing this on instinct" Will kissed Ironhide, for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day.

"Will, you're forgetting something: I'm good at everything." Ironhide smirked.

"Oh... Yeah..." will said sheepishly. Ironhide laughed and tore Will's boxers off, exposing him completely. Will gasped when the cold air hit his nether regions.

"Jesus... It's cold isn't it?"

"Not for me. I'm overheating."

"Please don't explode on me... I don't know what I'd do"

"Why do you think I'm going to explode? If I do, it'll be the topkick parked in the hangar... that would take some explaining."

"oh yeah, and because I thought if cars over heat then they explode... well that's what happened to the cars I've had when they overheat"

"You've blown up your cars?? What did you do to overheat them ?!"

"The radiators just overheat, nothing like... UBER bad... Just the usual broken car thing... have you never had that problem"

"Nope. Perhaps that is because I have my own cooling systems and Ratchet's supervision."

"Wait.. You and Ratchet???" Will sat up and looked down at the mech below him.

"Not like that! Well, not since we were younger... a lot younger... a couple of millennia ago." Ironhide blushed.

"Dude!! I would never have expected you and Ratchet... Maybe you and Optimus... but that's it..."

"No, never me and Optimus. We're just good friends."

"Uh huh... That's what Graham and Epps said... Good Friends... Like brothers... and look how they turned out... You're not going to cheat on me with Optimus are you?"

"NO!" Ironhide exclaimed. "I would never do anything like that! Especially not with Optimus! No... just thinking about that is wrong... no."

"Oh dear... I'm sorry, Why would it be wrong?" Will laughed.

"It just would! Ugh... no. Never..." Ironhide shuddered. "It would be weird."

"Like... Me and Epps... That would be weird... I'm not like Graham.. I'm not really into the whole black candy thing... by the way do you reckon we could do something about this?" Will gestured towards his crotch.

"You did do it with Epps." Ironhide looked down, following Will's gesture. He looked up at Will. "And no, because you mentioning Optimus is a total mood killer. Congrats, you've managed to do that twice now."

"I so did not... If I did... I don't remember. And I think I can get the mood back" Will grinned, he moved back down and chewed on Ironhide's neck.

"You told me about it earlier, when I threatened to kick your door down." Ironhide rolled his eyes. "Well you should get the mood back... just don't kill it again."

"Oh yeah..." Will continued chewing and nibbling on Ironhide's neck, grinding their crotches together.

"Will... I think the mood is back." Ironhide groaned.

"Nope.... it needs to come back some more I think" Will continued grinding down on Ironhide.

"I hate you. You're a tease."

"well then take control" Will kept grinding.

"Fine." Ironhide grabbed Will's hips and stopped him. He rolled Will onto his back and climbed on top of him. Ironhide grinded his hips against Will's and bit down on his neck, leaving a mark. Will groaned and bucked his hips.

"For fucks sake Ironhide, Do something.... You're good at instinct" will groaned

"Or – I could sit here and tease you, just like you were teasing me just a second ago."

"Oh, Please, don't... I didn't mean to tease... I was trying to get the mood back"

"Aw, now you're begging."

"I'll beg as much as you want..."

"No, I don't want you to beg." Ironhide said. "I just don't know what you want me to do..."

"Jesus... Just... Just fuck me..." will groaned, not liking the teasing.

Ironhide sat back and looked down at Will. "Okay yeah... but... I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't... if you do, ill tell you if you hurt me, how about that"

"Promise you'll tell me if I hurt you?"

"Of course... I'm not gunna let you hurt me am I?" will said kissing Ironhide slightly. Ironhide smiled at Will and pulled him close.

"Do you know how much I love you right now?" Ironhide whispered.

"Just right now? Or like all the time?" will said against Ironhide's lips.

"All of the time... but I think I love you more right now. If that's possible."

"yeah that's possible, I think... either way, I love you too"

Ironhide climbed off Will and said "Where are we going to do this?"

"We're in bed... So I assume we would do it here... or is that not good enough for you?" Will said, laughing slightly.

"Yeah... the bed is fine... I was just wondering if you had any preference." Ironhide said.

"Preference? Just use instinct" Will said climbing back on top of Ironhide.

"Yes, but my instincts are different to yours. Remember, I'm not human." Ironhide reminded Will with a sigh.

"Listen, babe... If you don't want to do this, then we don't have to"

"I do want to do this... I really do." Ironhide said, pulling Will up against him. "I'm just not sure what to do..."

"fine... this time I'll take control. Just don't do anything, just feel" Will went and gave Ironhide, what he's been waiting for, for a millennia.

((**A.N; Quick thing guiz... Uhm... Basically writing this in college, it's a bit awkward writing smut when they're are a lot of people about, it's a bit difficult. SO, this is the switcherooney time... it'll all make sense SOON)) **

Graham was sitting cross-legged on Epps's bed. "What do you think Will and 'Hide are doing right now?"

"to be honest... I think they're fucking... they way they were eating each others faces in the shooting range, I wanna find out, but they way he reacted the last time I interrupted them, I don't think I wanna do it" Epps sighed sitting down in front of Graham.

"Hmm I don't really want to go in there either..." Graham said. "Maybe we can find someone to go in there for us?"

"Hmm... Wait... What's that analysts name... the hacker...?" Epps asked

"Oh um... it begins with a 'G'... isn't it something like... Glen? Is that his name?"

"YES!" Epps kissed Graham on the lips hard. "You beautiful boy... It is Glen,.. Now... all we need to do is find a way for him to get in there"

"Erm... doesn't he like doughnuts – a lot?" Graham suggested.

"Yes..." Epps wacked out his mobile, and dialled Glen's number. "Hey Glen, it's Epps."

"Oh hayyy brother, what can I do you for?" Glen said in his AWESOME black mans voice.

"Y'know Will? Well, last I heard... he was hoarding doughnuts in his room and not sharing them with anyone at all." Epps grinned.

"What!!?!?! that is a crime against nature man! where is he?" Glen shouted.

"He's in his room." Epps said, trying to suppress a laugh.

"Aw! Man! I am gunna get him! Thanks Epps... See you soon" Glen hung up his phone an ran to Will's room, and barged in the door panting.

"Where's the doughnuts!?!?!" Glen said, looking around the room, his eyes landed on the figure in the bed. "What th-" He walked in closer, it was only then he realised, it was two figures, not one.

Ironhide poked his head out from under the bed covers, out of breath. "Oh shit." Will sat up and then covered him and Ironhide up with the covers

"Glen? What do you want? And don't you knock?"

" I heard there was doughnuts here" Glen said trying to look everywhere except the bed.

"Who the hell told you that?!!" Ironhide exploded. He turned to look at Will. "If it was Epps, I'm going to kill him."

"Uhhh... It wasn't Epps... I don't know who it was..." Glen said in a rush.

"I KNOW YOU'RE LYING." Ironhide exploded. He jumped out of bed and projected clothes on his hologram. He charged out of the room, cursing noisily as he ran down the corridor.

"Aweee, for fucks sake" Will threw some pants on and ran after Ironhide. "Ironhide! Come on! Stop it... Sort it out later, can't we sleep?" Will shouted after him. Glen stood in the room.

"I just wanted doughnuts... I'm gunna go find Maggie"

Ironhide kicked the door to Epps and Graham's room down. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU."

"What did I do?" Epps squeaked.

"YOU KNOW FULL WELL WHAT YOU DID."

"Epps... I really think you should start running..." Graham whispered. Epps nodded slowly and got up

"Ironhide! Dude... you can run fast can't you?" will panted.

"Yes I can and I don't get out of breath like you humans do." Ironhide smirked. He turned to back to face Epps. "I wouldn't advise running away."

"damn..." Epps said.

"Come on, 'hide... Do you really have to hurt them... it was probably only a joke... don't take offence to it, lets just go back to the room, please?" Will Pleaded.

"I still don't understand human jokes." Ironhide mumbled, walking out of the room.

* * *

**IT'S FINISHED!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!1!!!!11!1!1ONEONEONE11111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ELEVEN!!!!!!!!! omg.. that took an unnatural amount of time to write! **

**Thanks to all the readers…. **

**Review?**

**xxxDarknessxxx**


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